


Got any change cariad?

by starsontheceiling



Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-15
Updated: 2012-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-01 23:56:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsontheceiling/pseuds/starsontheceiling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is walking home minding his own business when he meets a homeless stranger who is devastatingly familiar. Inspired by Give by Simon Armitage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've chosen here

**_Of all the public places dear,_ **

**_To make a scene I’ve chosen here._ **

 

Arthur was tired, he was angry and he certainly could not be arsed dealing with an irritating homeless bloke whose voice was as familiar as his father’s and beloved as his father’s was not.

“Got any change cariad?” He spun around when he heard the man, trying to place the voice he was sure belonged to a close friend but when he was faced with a beggar sitting on the floor he was filled with confusion. He felt like he had spent a lifetime listening to that man’s voice but he was a homeless beggar. It was such an unnerving feeling that it made him even more irritated.

“No and even if I did I don’t give money to junkies.”

“I’m not a junkie, I’m just hungry.” Arthur turned back around and kept walking but the man had stood up, all long angular limbs and sharp cheekbones and black messy hair and started following him, jogging to his side. Arthur felt a pang of something he didn’t understand.

“Come on Arthur. I only want a fiver for a meal at McDonald!” The man whined. Arthur stopped, freaked out.

“How do you know my name?” He demanded, scared.

“As if I couldn’t know your name.” The man smiled and his eyes which were a deep dark blue turned almost molten. Arthur shivered, like someone had walked over his grave. “Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur slammed him against a wall. “Piss off.” He growled. He could feel people in the street staring at them but he was more aware of how painfully thin the man was beneath his hands. It hurt, somewhere, deep inside. He let him go and walked away.

“Got any change cariad?” The man called after him, a grin in his voice. Arthur growled and spun round, with the full intention of punching the man in the face.

But then he was just standing there, all sharp cheekbones and dark hair, skinniness and pale skin, deep blue eyes and a heartbreaking smile.

Arthur pulled out his wallet and gave the man three twenties.

“Thank you cariad.” He said smiling.

Arthur went home and when he finally fell asleep early the next morning his dreams were full of knights and castles, and of a pale skinned boy with molten eyes and a heartbreaking smile.


	2. Under the stars

**_Of all the doorways in the world,_ **

**_To choose to sleep, I’ve chosen yours,_ **

**_I’m on the street, under the stars_ **

 

Arthur hadn’t seen the man for over a week but somehow he had, in the space of a less than three minute meeting, found his way into Arthur’s soul and tucked himself in there, refusing to budge.

He was filled with anticipation every day, in the morning and evening, on his route to and from work on the off chance he might see the man. He never did. This made him unreasonably miserable.

On the first two days he dawdled on his way home, looking for him. On the third and fourth days he took more roundabout ways home, pretending he needed fresh air after all day stuck in the office. On the fifth day he did his jog round town rather than going up to the downs, telling himself he needed a change of scenery. On the seventh day he gave up all pretence and wandered around town looking for him.

On the tenth day after he’d met the man he was invited round to Morgana’s flat and they ate dinner together, drank too much wine and Morgana made him watch an old black and white French film without subtitles that he couldn’t understand. She cried at the end and he asked her if she ever had dreams so vivid they felt like memories and if she’d ever met someone and even though it was the first time hearing their voice it was the most familiar voice to you in the world.

It made her cry a little more, silent tears slipping down her cheeks as she hugged him without answering.

He was halfway home when the power cut hit and all the street lamps went out. The stars were spilled across the sky and he walked the silent streets with the moon and candlelight flickering from windows to guide him.

He walked down his street and reached into his pocket for his keys and nearly fell over the pale faced bundle on his doorstep.

“Hello cariad.” Said the bundle and the voice felt more like home than the hallway. 


	3. I can dance and sing

**_For coppers I can dance or sing,_ **

**_For silver – swallow swords, eat fire_ **

**_For gold – escape from locks and chains._ **

****

Arthur brought the man inside and instructed him to shower as he cooked him a cheese and ham omelette by candlelight. He thanked God he had a gas stove as he watched the man wolf down the food. He looked even thinner and paler after a shower, dressed in an old shirt of Arthur’s and the bottoms of the pair of pyjamas Morgana kept at his house for emergencies.

Arthur showed him to the spare bedroom once he’d finished but when he came back from brushing his teeth the man was curled up in his bed. He started to strip, changing into an old pair of tracksuit bottoms and got topless into bed. He had hoped to scare the man into leaving but no such thing happened. Arthur was close to telling him to leave but the warmth and weight of his body felt so good next to Arthur, whose bed had been empty for so long, that Arthur couldn’t bring himself to.

Somehow he didn’t feel ill at ease having another man in his bed. He knew, without knowing why that he could trust this stranger with his life.

He fell asleep easily, songs in an ancient tongue slipping in and out of his dreams.

When Arthur woke he wasn’t tangled around the stranger like some clichéd romantic novel, they were facing different ways, Arthur on his side, the stranger curled into a foetal position, his back pressed against Arthur’s. It felt warm and safe and Arthur drifted back into sleep.

The next time he woke up sunlight was filtering through the curtains and somewhere in his brain he realised he was late for work. He didn’t care and lay in bed for another half hour, the stranger’s warmth against his back strangely comforting.

When he finally got up he leisurely had a shower and made pancakes for breakfast, leaving half the batter for the stranger. He didn’t care it was half ten when he finally left the house; Leon would cover for him if his father asked for him and he didn’t have any meetings.

He left a note for the stranger, pinned to his bedroom door so he’d see it when he got up. He didn’t know why he’d addressed it to ‘M’ he told himself it stood for mystery or some similar ‘m’ word but really it was because he’d just written it and known somehow it was the right thing to write.

_M_

_I’ve gone to work, make yourself at home, have a shower or a bath, whatever. The power’s back on and I’ve left some pancake batter out for you but please don’t burn the house down._

_See you later,_

_Arthur_

He was determined to get back early as possible but got waylaid by his father and was half an hour later than he’d meant to be. He still walked home with a spring in his step however, eager to get to know the stranger who he realised had somehow wound his way into his heart in such a way that it felt like he’d been there all along.

His house was cold and empty, the note he’d left for the stranger stuck to the table. He turned it over. A dragon stared back at him.


	4. Just change

**_It's not as if I'm holding out_ ** **_  
for frankincense or myrrh, just change._ **

 

Arthur was cold and tired and even the tiny whirling snowflakes and the fact it was Christmas Eve did little to raise his spirits. It had been almost two months since he had come back home to an empty house and he had given up looking for the stranger.

Everyone commented on how rough was looking. He made up a load of stuff about a close friend being ill and wondered how the hell someone who he’d spent less than two conscious hours with made him feel like he’d just split up from a lifelong relationship.

He hadn’t been sleeping well, his dreams full of a time before, of magic and dragons, and the name Merlin.

Somewhere someone was singing a Christmas carol; voice sweet and low and achingly familiar.

“ _Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying  
Sealed in a stone-cold tomb_ ”

He shivered, his coat not thick enough against the winter’s chill.

“Come on cariad, I’m not the son of God, I don’t want a sheep or some stupid impractical gifts, just some money for a wurst off the Weihnachtsmarkt.”

Arthur sagged with relief as the voice came from behind him.

 “Why did you go?”

“You weren’t ready.”

“For what?”

“For what you are.” He came to Arthur’s side. “I’m sorry cariad.”

“Will you stay this time Merlin?”

 “Yes. This time I’ll stay.”


	5. I beg of you

**_You give me tea. That's big of you.  
I'm on my knees. I beg of you._ **

****

Arthur cried when they got home.

He tried to make Merlin some tea but Merlin just gently took the kettle off of Arthur. “That’s my job. Sit down.”

Later, they walked through the snow blanketed streets towards Morgana’s. It was a Christmas party for all of their friends and Arthur was refusing to let Merlin out of his sight so he was coming too, wearing some slightly too big jeans and a dark blue shirt. Arthur’s (now battered) converses were on his feet.

Morgana let them into her flat and suddenly it hurt and the world went slightly hazy for Arthur, like he was seeing two different realities, one over the other.

Then he entered the living room, clutching Merlin’s hand and the dominant reality won over. The living room was now a hall within a castle, all of his friends kneeling before him, Morgana stood in the midst of them, tears running down her face.

And Arthur looked at Merlin and he wasn’t a skinny street kid anymore. He was tall and powerful and Arthur knew without a shadow of a doubt that it may be him his friends were bowing to him but Merlin was the reason they were bowing.

“Please.” Morgana still stood, a streaming black hair, a single standing figure amongst the kneeled.

Merlin looked at her and then nodded and his eyes went molten and words old as time flowed from him.

Then they were alone in front of everyone and it hurt so much.

“Make me forget Merlin, please, let me forget.”

And Merlin smiled sadly and touched his beloved’s head and Arthur forgot who had been and only remembered who he was. 


End file.
